Dearest Goddess, Mother Divine.

I am so caught up in the rights and wrongs of everything. I need to let myself go free. Free to love you and worship you.

But, I cannot seem to let go. As right as loving you and worshipping you seems, I wonder if I am playing a game with myself.

I'm scared. I want to follow, I want to love, I want to be a part of you. But something seems to be holding me back.

Is it my past? Is it the religion I grew up with? Is it the uncertainty of the future?

All of these questions should lead me to you, yet there is a pull that is tearing my heart, holding me back.

Perhaps it is the "structure" of the rituals and worship methods I have read about. Why does everyone say I need structure? Why can't I just love you and honor you?

I need your help, finding my way. Is there truly a right or wrong way to worship you? The basic love is there. In fact, this love goes deeper than any love I have ever imagined. It is a tingling, Warm Love

Need there be more than love or is love enough? Simple yet complex.

As I write this, I suddenly get mild tingling chills. I am sitting next to a heater, so there is no reason to be cold. It is not coldness that I'm feeling, it is love, isn't it?

I am not offending thee with my thoughts and words, you are watching me grow and learn. I needed to feel your presence and now you are here.

  Thank you, Goddess and Mother.
  Thank you for the gift of your love.

  Blessed Be.

     All my love,
       Kiersten Elaine