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What is with these ancient machines?

Live Tech Support call

by TA

Yep. This is from a live tech support call. No fibbing or exaggeration required…
sometimes reality is weird enough.

Tech(me): Thank you for calling (major computer brand), my name is (me), can I have your computer serial number please.

Caller(best valley girl accent I’ve ever heard): [Reads a serial number, from the monitor.]

Tech: No, the thing that the monitor is attached to.

Caller: [Firmly repeats the same serial number]

Tech: No, the serial number of the system that the monitor is attached to please.

Caller: But, like, that’s where I plug it in, and there’s no serial number on that.

Tech: sigh Ok, there are 2 cables on the back of the monitor, one plugs it in, and the other is attached to the computer, I need the serial number off of the computer please so I can tell what model we are working with.

Caller: [Firmly repeats the same serial number]

Tech: No, that’s the monitor, I need the thing that the monitor is attached to.

Caller: But I just told you that doesn’t have any numbers, like DUH.

Tech: Ok, I need the serial number off of the box where you put the disks. Can you find that for me?

Caller: [a bit of frustration creeping in, firmly repeats the same serial number]

Tech: Ok. That’s the monitor serial number, but we’ll skip that for now. We’ll come back to it when it becomes necessary. Can you describe your problem?

Caller: Yes. I’m, like, getting a non sister dick error.

Tech: stifle guffaw A what error? Is it on the screen? Can you read it exactly for me, the phrasing is important.

Caller:Ok, it says like “Non system disk, please remove any media and press any key to continue.”

Tech: Ahhh…Ok. Do you have any disks in the drives? A floppy disk or a CD in one of your drives?

Caller: Huh?

Tech: The box where you put disks, the box that the monitor is attached to, the one with the serial number on it that we were looking for earlier.

Caller: I told you that like that is where I plug it in, and it doesn’t have a serial number.

Tech: Ok, let’s try a different tack. Is there more than one thing plugged in next to where the monitor is plugged in?

Caller: Sure.

Tech: Great, can you give me the serial number off of the thing that is plugged in OTHER THAN the monitor?

Caller: Oh, that’s just a lamp, like why would you need to know that?

Tech: Ok, there should be at least one more thing plugged in there…can you find that?

Caller: The only other thing is like the thingy.

Tech: The thingy? Is it a box shape with several buttons on the front? 2 small ones and a large one?

Caller: Yes! That’s it.

Tech: Great, can you give me the serial number off of the thingy please? It should be on the back next to a bar code.

Caller: [Yet again repeats the serial number off of the monitor]

Tech: No, the thingy, the thing that the monitor is attached to.

Caller: But I like already told you that doesn’t have any numbers.

Tech: Ok. The thingy. The box with 3 buttons on the front. Can you hit each of the Two small buttons for me please? One at a time.

Caller: Oh no. My husband doesn’t let me touch that.

Tech: wonders why… Ok, I’m sure he’ll forgive you and be very happy you fixed his computer. Go ahead and hit the two small buttons, one at a time.

[hears faint disk eject click]

Caller: EEEWWW! It like stuck it’s tongue out at me!

Tech: works very hard to stifle laughter… Yes, now press the space bar…and everything should be working just fine. Thank you for calling, and have a great day.

[hang up and roll around in laughter until all nearby techs are staring at me wondering if I have finally lost it]