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What is with these ancient machines?

A Tale of 2 (many) Emails

I woke up this morning to check my email and if I believed all my emails this is what I would have.

I would be approved for 21 credit cards so I could have close to $ 250,000 in credit available to me. I could take his pill and my penis will grow three inches. If I wasn't happy with that, there is another pill I could take to increase my bust size from an A to DD. Of course with all that growth, I could get all the vitamins I need some that aren't available in the stores at bargain prices. And if that doesn't help, I can buy viagra discreetly online at remarkable prices. Of course if I buy the Viagra, I can watch Jen with her private web cam along with her college coeds, all I have to do is click the links. And best of all, with this herb newly released, I can experience an orgasm that lasts 30 minutes.

That all is pretty tiring so I most likely will need a vacation. All I have to do is apply to one of the many sweepstakes and win. Or just goto this site and see the 10 ten travel deals for the week. But I better make sure everything is in order before leaving, so I will check out the guaranteed life insurance quotes that are lower then what I have. And if need be to get a better quote, they now have a patch available to loose weight and to stop smoking.

Since I have tons of emails offering me great bargains from computers, cell phones, clothing, perfumes and wines I probably will need to take up the offers to refinance my home since I will be using all those credit cards. And should that not help, there are plenty of financial consultants that are offering to help me for free and even give me a free credit report. If that gets me stressed to think about it, all I have to do is buy some of the CD's that are on sale right now or I can opt to get 5 DVD's for free if I sign up for membership. What a bargain. Since I don't want to be alone having all this fun, I will go ahead and subscribe to an online dating service, because all I have to do is use the code given and I can get 30 days free to find the mate of my dream!!! Now just in case I can't afford everything and do need an extra job, I have plenty of work at home opportunities that are available to me in these emails.

Oh wait, I didn't read down far enough, I have unclaimed money just waiting to be claimed and I also just won a sweepstakes, all I have to do is send my information!!!